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How Using Porn Destroys Your Willpower. I’ll certainly grant you that it’s rough, especially as we’ve made a cultural shift towards delayed marriage. Given our culture’s general tendency to glorify the act of sex, it must be especially difficult to be a single guy who’s patiently waiting. So why hold out? The short answer is that God commanded it. Marriage, and therefore sexual intimacy, is meant to be a picture of how Christ loved the church (Eph. It’s supposed to be faithful and sacrificial, as Christ himself is faithful and sacrificial.

We are also called members of Christ, and “shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them to a prostitute” (1 Cor. Even if you’re not paying for sex, out of wedlock it’s effectively the same thing in God’s eyes.) Remember, in marriage through intercourse, “the two shall become one flesh” (vs. This is backed up by science, for the record; neurochemicals like Oxytocin are triggered through physical intimacy, causing sexual partners to bond through each other. If a husband and wife only ever bond with each other sexually, their bond should only increase over time. If you walk into marriage already bonded to another, it won’t be doing your marriage any favors. Check out The Porn Circuit for more information about the chemical side of things; it’s porn- specific, but it contrasts it to what intimacy should be.)So that’s at least part of the reason why God gave you a sex drive and is still telling you “wait.” The next question is “How?” I’m going to list just a ton of (mostly stream- of- consciousness) ideas, both about singleness in general and to help you rule over your sex drive instead of letting it rule over you. I apologize in advance; I know some of them will come across as trite or cliche.

I’m not scared to say it: I love a good Subway sandwich. My dad used to take me to the only Subway in town after we went grocery shopping, and I remember tracking.

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Please know that I’m listing even the trite- sounding ones out of a genuine concern for you as my brother in Christ. Remember that Jesus and (probably) Paul both died as single virgins. God’s not asking you to do something he himself didn’t do. As for Paul, some scholars speculate that he may have actually been a widower, but regardless, he lived for the latter half of his wife without sexual intimacy.)2.

Meditate on the fact that Paul describes singleness as an enviable state. Are there things you can do as a single that you wouldn’t be able to do as easily if you were married? Think both service and pleasure: you can volunteer more in churches or at soup kitchens, but you can also spontaneously decide to go out of town for the weekend, or pick up a more time- consuming hobby, or buy, gut, and rebuild a house, or whatever you like to do. Consider online dating, if you haven’t already.

Paul tells people who can’t control their sex drives to get married, so start actively pursuing marriage, if you haven’t already. There’s no guarantee you’ll find “the one” even then, but online dating will at least broaden the pool. Oh, and by the way, many Christian girls are taught to wait for the guy to make the first move, so don’t assume that if a young woman finds you attractive, she’ll approach you.)4.

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Find someone to be a mentor or accountability partner. I recommend an older single male from your church – someone who has been in your shoes for a longer time, and who can help you deal with various issues. Differentiate between sinful lust and the godly desire for intimacy with a wife.

When you are interested in a single young woman, are you just thinking about how attractive she is, or are you more interested in getting to know her as a human being who you may want to be with “in sickness and in health”? The latter is a godly desire. The former may need repentance. Retrain yourself in how you think about women. This is especially true if your first thought about women is how they look. It may be as simple as forcing yourself to follow up the thought of “Man, she’s hot! I wonder if she’s single” with “I wonder what kind of person God made her to be.

What are her interests and hobbies? Is there anything going on in her life that I should pray for?” (By the way, you should do this any time you evaluate a woman by her looks first, whether beautiful or ugly.) Whatever you do, the idea is to make sure you’re thinking of her not as a sexual being, but as a human being with her own life, created in the image of God. Remember that sex and marriage doesn’t solve anything. TV and movies are preoccupied with telling us that all we need is to get laid and all our emotional issues will go away.

In reality, marriage is two sinners bringing their own problems into one family unit. Additionally, sex can actually be very painful! Some dear friends of mine were unable to have sex for the first year or two of their marriage because whenever they tried, the wife was caused extreme pain.

They built intimacy in other ways and eventually found a medical solution, but it distinctly put a strain on their brand new marriage. So don’t buy into the lie that sex will fix all your problems. Following that, remember that even once you have a wife, marriage (and the sex therein) may be temporary.

Many people become single again for many reasons (widowhood, divorce, physical injury, illness). Consider going on a media fast, or being more selective about the media you consume. I’m not even talking about just porn here. Shows like the recently- ended “How I Met Your Mother” reinforce the lie that sex solves everything.

Ask yourself whenever you go to watch a movie or TV show or play a video game or read a book, “What is this telling me about sex and relationships? Is that lie at the forefront?” If it is, maybe you shouldn’t watch/play/read it.

I’m not saying that you should only watch/play/read Christian stuff. Just be selective.

For example, The Avengers is comparatively clean; even the sexualized Black Widow is portrayed as a well- rounded human being.)1. Re- tool your prayers. Sexuality is a biological function, as you yourself mention; praying to remove your sex drive is sort of like praying that your hair will never turn gray.

Rather than praying for that, pray for some of the struggles that may be leading to you having more overwhelming sexual urges. Is loneliness a contributing factor? Or maybe it’s your general anger or bitterness? Ask God for help controlling the sin, not the result. On a personal note, about four years ago I started praying for God to deal with bitterness in my own life.

A Who's Who Guide to Taylor Swift's 'Bad Blood' Music Video Raise your hand if you’re not in the new Taylor Swift music video? So, no one then? We’re all in it? It certainly seems like Taylor has enlisted every actress, model, and singer in Hollywood to appear in her “Bad Blood” music video, which, at this point, will probably be three minutes of music video and 1. Before the music video - - or short film? Sunday’s Billboard Music Awards, check out our definitive guide to who’s who and how each ended up with “Bad Blood.”. Photo: Getty Images. Name: Jessica Alba.

Occupation: Lifestyle guru, Maxim’s Hottest Woman 2. Good Luck Chuck. How Good of Friends Are They ACTUALLY?! Alba is the rando of the group. The two have met before - - Alba presented Taylor with the Best Country Female award at the 2.

AMAs - - but she’s never even made a cameo in a Taylor Swiftagram. Weird. Photo: Getty Images. Name: Lily Aldridge. Occupation: Victoria’s Secret Angel, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover girl. How Good of Friends Are They ACTUALLY?! Actual friends. At some point, Taylor started collecting Victoria’s Secret models (most likely after her first time performing at the V. S. fashion show) and Aldridge was one of the OGs.

Photo: Getty Images. Name: Cindy Crawford. Occupation: Cindy Crawford. How Good of Friends Are They ACTUALLY?! Who knows! Are they friends?!

Photo: Getty Images. Name: Cara Delevingne. Occupation: Model, star of your next favorite Y. A. movie, budding superhero. How Good of Friends Are They ACTUALLY?!

Cara is another Victoria’s Secret Angel that Taylor befriended at the 2. V. S. Fashion Show and they’ve kept up their friendship over the years (despite the time Cara spent dating Harry Styles).

Photo: Getty Images. Name: Lena Dunham. Occupation: Auteur, professional Girl. How Good of Friends Are They ACTUALLY?! Lena and Taylor’s friendship started as all Millennial relationships start: Online.

But they took it off Twitter and are now besties who say they turn to each other for advice and creative inspiration. Photo: Getty Images. Name: Ellie Goulding. Occupation: The voice singing every song you hear on the radio.

How Good of Friends Are They ACTUALLY?! Goulding runs in that same Sarah Hyland- Jamie King- sometimes Kelly Osbourne group that Taylor is a fixture in, so they’ve been friends for years. The two have even collaborated on Taylor’s past tours. Photo: Getty Images. Name: Gigi Hadid. Occupation: Baby Guess model, daughter of a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills.

How Good of Friends Are They ACTUALLY?! Gigi likely started as a model friend of a model friend to Taylor, but the two seem to have bonded enough that they have dinner parties and help decorate each other’s apartments. Photo: Getty Images. Name: Mariska Hargitay. Occupation: Detective. How Good of Friends Are They ACTUALLY?!

Friends might be a stretch, but Taylor has never been shy about how big of a fan she is of Hargitay. She even named her second cat, Olivia Benson, after Hargitay’s character on Law & Order: SVU. Photo: Getty Images.

Name: Martha Hunt. Occupation: Victoria’s Secret Angel, once played herself on 2 Broke Girls. How Good of Friends Are They ACTUALLY?! Dinner party friends, which is as close as two people can be in Taylor’s world!

As for how they met, ditto every model connection already explained. Photo: Getty Images. Name Karlie Kloss. Occupation: (Actual) Top Model, human manifestation of perfection. How Good of Friends Are They ACTUALLY?! Best friends. They met at the 2.

V. S. fashion show, but even a year before that, Taylor told Vogue that she wanted to be best friends with Kloss. Watch Everybody Loves Somebody Full Movie. Now they are: Road tripping, selfie taking, having- rooms- in- each- others- apartments best friends. Photo: Getty Images. Name: Kendrick Lamar.

Occupation: The hottest MC in the game. How Good of Friends Are They ACTUALLY?!

More like mutual fans. Swift made it known first that she was a big fan of K. Dot. Later, Kendrick returned the love and proved he meant it by not only singing along to “Shake It Off” on the radio, but freestyling a special remix! Photo: Getty Images. Name: Ellen Pompeo.

Occupation: Doctor. How Good of Friends Are They ACTUALLY?! Before there was Olivia Benson, there was Taylor’s first cat, Meredith Gray, named after Pompeo’s character on Grey’s Anatomy.

And when Taylor posted this Instagram.. Pomeo responded, "This is awkward because my namesake did this but as your doctor please keep that scratch clean! Yours truly, the real Dr. Grey.". Photo: Getty Images. Name: Serayah. Occupation: Basically plays Rihanna on the juggernaut TV show Empire. How Good of Friends Are They ACTUALLY?! Serayah is the newest addition to Taylor’s group of friends that includes Lorde and the Haim sisters.

No word on how they met (most logical guess? Taylor is just friends with every successful woman in her 2.

Taylor included her in the video. Photo: Getty Images.

Name: Hailee Steinfeld. Occupation: Academy Award Nominee (AT THE AGE OF 1. How Good of Friends Are They ACTUALLY?! Taylor and Hailee met through mutual friend Emma Stone and, even with the influx of supermodels over the years, has remained a staple on Taylor’s carousel of squad members.

Photo: Getty Images. Name: Hayley Williams.

Occupation: She’s in Paramore. How Good of Friends Are They ACTUALLY?! Hayley and Taylor actually have one of the oldest friendships of the bunch, having met some six- or- so years ago. Hayley apparently is also Taylor’s cyber security. Photo: Getty Images.

Name: Zendaya. Occupation: One of the stars from Dancing With the Stars. How Good of Friends Are They ACTUALLY?! Surprisingly, not as BFF of Fs as you might assume, considering Taylor likes to curate her group of friends with inspiring women, and how Zendaya handled her controversy this year cemented her as a thoughtful, smart teen. NOT PICTURED (because they weren’t included?!): Best friend and foot- holder Lorde, long- time best friend Selena Gomez, the HAIM sisters, mother of her impending godchild Jamie King, the girls in Fifth Harmony, and Beyoncé. Speaking of Taylor Swift’s music, hear what she told ET about the “amazing” collaboration she’ll do with..